I know I vowed last week that I would write every day for three minutes. I did this exactly one time. Uh, sorry about that.
As it happens, last week was a little rough. Events were fortuitously timed to make me rethink how much I want to share every little thought as it comes to me. Basically, I was called out (albeit, indirectly) for talking too loudly about a lot of nothing. It burned hot and shameful.
I suddenly became very conscious that in the semi-public pontificating I’ve been doing lately, I don’t know who I’m talking to, or what about. Not really. This makes me feel sort of sad and confused when I think about the writing and speaking I’ve been doing for work, but it makes me feel even more upended when I think about this blog. Ugleah has an identity crisis. What’s the purpose of this web site? Is it all for me? Just a place to dump my thoughts and reflections? Am I trying to share some ideas with a bigger group of people? And if so, about what, really? Being a wide eyed girl in a big city? Or someone with a UX day job? Or just some poor schmo who gets frustrated sometimes and doesn’t know what to do about it?
Here’s what excites me. I like the idea of sharing my observations in a medium that’s open and unmediated. I like the thought of becoming a better writer and a better thinker and, frankly, a better person, by exploring my ideas in a slightly riskier, more public forum.
Here’s what deflates me. I hate the thought that that probably entails saying more stupid things than smart things. Am I merely creating a record of my half baked, mushy thought process for all the world to see? Probably, yes. That sucks.
3 minutes a day, even though it sounds easy, doesn’t really give me enough time to develop any ideas. And poorly developed ideas are my most hated personal gremlin. I have too many of them already, privately, shamefully, without broadcasting them to the world.
So I hereby renounce the 3 minute proclamation. I think I’m just going to try to write stuff as it comes to me, and take as long as I need to make some sense of it.