To the couple sitting next to me in seats 16E and 16F on US Airways flight 1025 this afternoon…
Clearly you are very enamored of one another. That’s lovely. I’m happy for you.
However that doesn’t give you a license to spend the entire flight groping each other and engaging in wet, smacking kisses.
Madam, your sensuous chest rubbings of your companion and completely unsubtle grazing of his fly were appalling. Sir, your groping up your lady friend’s skirt was, frankly, unhygienic. When you declared with a giggle that you two ought to go make out in the bathroom, I wish you had. You might have at least spared me the spectacle.
It was all very rude and inconsiderate.